I know that you’re still mad at me and I am definitely still mad at you. But god damn, do I miss you. You were the best friend that I could talk about anything to. The awkward stuff, the naughty stuff, the gross stuff, the boy stuff. I miss you so much and I wish you were still in my life. I have dreams about you often. It’s usually about us seeing each other and becoming friends again. My latest dream, You were in some doorway and I went over to you and I hugged you and then we started catching up. I wish we could actually do that. You were an amazing friend with some flaws. And I wish that we never got into that stupid fight. I was pregnant and emotional and lonely. I was wrong to tell you the stupid shit I did. But I just needed you and again, you weren’t there for me. You would rather be with your boyfriend every friggin weekend than see your BBFFAE. And that hurt me. Now things will never be the same. I grew up and you’re still young. You’re in college, having fun, getting high, getting drunk. Doing everything that I hate. Now that I have 2 kids, ours lives don’t mesh anymore. I can’t act irresponsible anymore. I guess what I’m trying to say is that even though I miss you we just can’t be friends. Because if we were friends, we would fight all the time because we have different lives. I have to be a mom and you have to be young and carefree and selfish. You have to do the things that I never got to do. I wish things were different between us, I wish that I could talk to you. I wish Jason liked you so you could actually be around us. I wish that we had time for each other. I wish we could be how we were in high school when we weren’t fighting. I miss you Kinky KiKi but I don’t think you miss me.
Love always, Lovely LaLa
